Saturday, June 26, 2010

Ballad of the Windfish

I apologize for these simple outfits lately, but it's just too hot and humid to wear anything but a tank top and something short on the bottom! Even shirts with short sleeves are too much. These days, the last thing I want to turn into is a soggy spaghetti noodle, because soggy spaghetti noodles are no fun for anyone. In fact, soggy spaghetti noodles don't even like each other. Trust me, I asked a group of them once at an Iron Chefs convention. I can even speak the ancient and sacred language of the soggy spagghetti (pronounced soggy spuh-GET-eye). Oh, but please, as natural as a response as it is, I plead that you must not become jealous of my ability. I promise to not brag too much on it. But hey, before you quit reading this, I have one last and important thing I must say: I can speak soggy spaghettian. And you can't (just making sure you won't forget).

Tank: Kohl's
Skirt: F21
Necklace: vintage, gifted by Gramma Nami
Bracelets: vintage, mom's
Ankle Booties: Target

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

My Apple Juice Tastes Different Today

I went out in the grass and my mom snapped pictures for not even three minutes until we had to run inside. There was this swarm of mosquitoes that darkened the sky in a murky mass, blocked out the sun, eliminated the very rays of light that lit our paths. Confused and separated, my feeble mother and I stumbled through the midday darkness and managed to pull ourselves into the garage, our hands scarred and bloody from the concrete. With the little energy I had left, I forced the door shut, but the darkness resisted to withdraw. It was silent inside, but the low thrums could be heard from the winged beasts beyond the door. I warily rose to my feet to peer out the window. Before I could take a look, the door was thrust open by an unnamed force, pushing me to the ground once more. The darkness of the bugs cleared, but a shadow was cast over my very being that sent my my heart up my throat. Tension arose. Windows shattered. Wind blew and rustled my hair into the gravity defying shape of a unicorn. It was him, and he had come. Hagrid had come to tell me that yes, I am a wizard.

But seriously, I came in and had eleven mosquito bites! Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head! This isn't fair. I'll declare a national state of emergency. I'll hand squish each and every mosquito. Or I can just spray bug spray on myself.. but that doesn't sound nearly as epic.

Is there anything that annoys you guys? And, if so, what techniques would you use to take such an annoyance out (be creative, now)?

1-- We gave our doggie a bath in this giant tub outside and he made off with the towel. He is rather extravagant.

2-- I got bored at work and gave myself a tattoo. Some lady came up to me and told me I should be a tattoo artist. I was flattered. While she complimented me, her boyfriend was all behind her rubbing and groping her arms awkwardly. Mmm, arm gropage. Get some.

3-- Yesterday, I saw this awesome bumblebee who was not moving at all and being a great model for me to take pictures of. All the other bees were busy bee-ing (ahahhahaa) busy. Today, I walked by the same flower bush and discovered that Mr. Bee was still in the same spot. I warily approached and poked it. Upon close observation, I discovered two things: one, that this bee was very fuzzy, and two, that this bee was deceased. He died doing what he did best, folks, and I hope to die the same way he did: merrily eating flowers

Top: Walmart
Skirt: Forever 21
Shoes: Urban Outfitters
Necklace: vintage, gifted by gramma Nami

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Maybe We'll Meet Somewhere in the Middle

I am a teacher
With skirt and alphabet shirt
Warning: bad haikus.

What does my shirt say?
People can't decipher it

Perhaps it speaks of
Sweet love or glistening stars
Trembling silver spoon.

How am I to know?
I make outfits and post them
Absorbent hedgehog.

I take my leave now
My dog has seized my trashcan
Bad dog! Bad dog! Lamp.

Tank: Ross Dress for Less
Necklace: vintage, gifted by Gramma Nami
Skirt: Walmart
Belt: Know-Style
Heels: Ross Dress for Less

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Wall Crumblies

Just needed to post up this pic because I felt bad I hadn't posted him yet, har har har. Nothing exciting has happened this week, other than the fact that last night I had a dream where I shoved a refrigerator on top of some guy and squished him because he stole a miniature harmonica from me and THEN (yes, that's not all, folks) had the decency (and utter bravery) to take my mom's STOVE. Fool, how dare you steal our stove. He deserved getting a beating from a huge arse fridge. You just don't go around stealing stoves, man. You just don't do that.

I've had ACT prep for the past week, but now it's aaaaaalll over! Outfit post very soon.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Windy Days, Skirts that Sway

This is my first romper ever! I think it makes me look like I have superboobs because of the ruffles, but it's so much fun to prance around in, la la. It's like a dress without the dangerous excitement of accidentally flashing someone. Not that flashing someone is exciting, in fact, sometimes it can be life-threatening. I should explain myself.. so, one time I was wearing a skirt and me and a friend were crossing from the parking lot to a store. It was a windy day, and this copman in his copmancar let us cross and then whooooooosh, along came some wind as I was crossing. I have no idea if this copman saw anything, but that's just adds mystery to the dangerousness of wearing skirts.

Do I look really pink in these pictures? Maybe I'm eating too much shrimp and am part flamingo, except for the fact that I don't like shrimp and I only wish I could be part flamingo. Well. I think that's a good ending for this post-- our desires for the future. If you could be any animal, what would YOU be? I'd totally be a blue lobster. Blue lobsters are sort of like blue corn, except they're lobsters.

Romper: Ross Dress For Less
Shoes: Gifted, via Modcloth
Belt: Forever 21
Necklace: Gifted, vintage
Bracelet: Claire's

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Waiting for the Train

Today, I felt quite daring. For one, I am wearing gold, something I never do. Gold, the color of the Gods, hence I equal Ali, God of Godliness. And not only was I wearing gold, I was wearing lots of it: gold on my necklace, gold on the details of my mommy's (now mine) vintage purse, and little gold beads on this old vest I found in the attic in the Halloween costume bin. I consider myself a bit intense today. Beside that, I never brushed my hair, which is a very daring thing to do when one knows they must take pictures of them self.

Half of the pictures I took today didn't have me in them since I kept running from the wasps that decided to invade. I was about to get my lightsaber out and chop their faces off, but running seemed more realistic at the time. Perhaps we shall meet at another time, awkward black wasps that look like evil buzzing threads. Perhaps we shall. When we do, I will be waiting, lightsaber in one hand, complete and utter destruction in the other.

Vintage purse and vest, Express bodycon dress, Fioni wedges